When I came up with the “not writing advice” series, I had one idea in mind for it. I want to talk about the things no one really tells you about writing. And, this is probably one of the biggest things no one ever brings up. No one talks about it. Some don’t even acknowledge it.
Writing isolates you.
It doesn’t sound that bad until you start to consider relationships. And, I don’t mean just romantic ones. Yes, those probably take the biggest hits, but all relationships take a hit. Friends, family, and acquaintances, writing compromises all of these relationships because it forces the person into a relationship with the page. It’s as if all writers had a jealous and clingy lover that snared them into a small room with them all the time. This reaps all of the writer’s free time and can push people away.
Ultimately, this can lead to a very lonely life, which I have seen some writers deal with. Now, I know it’s not the complete story, and it might have been heavily doctored just as writers do, but knowing this loneliness always reminds me of an interview with a writer I was in. The man mentioned he’d been divorced three times so far, and it had been for the same reason. His significant others had all said he didn’t pay enough attention to them. So, he ended up living alone.
It’s not a perfect example, I know, but that always gets me thinking and reflecting about my own life. I tend to be very isolated at times, and I’ve seen my writing interfere with my relationships. When I’m on visiting my family, they sometimes try and talk to me while I’m writing, and I have to turn them down and continue writing. Even if they smile and say it’s okay, it’s the worst feeling when they walk away after I tell them I’m busy.
Keep in mind that all of this is coming from a very shy and introverted person. But this isolation can be extremely difficult to bear at times. That’s why it has to be brought up, and not pushed aside and ignored.